Tapping Into My Roots Again

Today is not a good day right now for me.

I met someone yesterday, but I’m not too fond of trying to pursue another relationship. He mentioned all of these promises to me, from “being a real gentleman instead of a nigga” to “I really want to get to know you, all of you” to “you may be the one for me”. Sweetheart, I’m very sorry, but I cannot mean that much to you and we have only met twice.

Granted I’ll let you pass since you are a manager at your job. Although everything may seem nice and on time so to speak, what are your true motives? In addition to that, do you know what I’m currently dealing with right now?

I’m pregnant (until I go take the pregnancy test, we don’t necessarily know for sure) so us thinking we’ll go over more than first/second base will not happen. Secondly, I’m still dealing with damaged emotions and physical pain. It’s challenging for me to have a full heart of happiness when I am constantly reminded about how bad my (soon to be) ex treated me. He says that he loves me, however is that seriously true? Does he mean it, or is it just bull shit hitting my mind?

Look, this new guy don’t know me from atom, just like him not knowing me like I’m some foregin object. My soon to be is about to go to jail, for I don’t know how long, I’m hurting pretty bad right now to the point where I don’t know who else I should seriously turn to, and aside from this pregnancy, I don’t know if this job is for me.

I suck at teaching children.

I absolutely suck at it! They won’t love me at all! I’m too bossy.

Alas, I refuse to fully make this blog post a pity post, so here goes some subtle advice that my tarot card app drawn up for me. Everyday, I have a daily tarot card drawn, and so far it’s a 10 out of 10 when I read the description. I use an app called Galaxy Tarot, and for me I managed to learn everything I wanted to learn at my own pace.

***Read at your own discretion, and if it applies to you or someone that you know then feel free to use such given advice***

Side Note: I strongly believe this app is personally made for people like myself who needs it most. Of course it’ll never replace the Holy Bible for me, but goodness 90% of the time the information is spot on as it pertains to my life. I will post the link down below.

Resources: Galaxy Tarot App (Google Play)


Voicing What You See

I was hoping today would be easy for me.
I was hoping that he would hear the little things and understand where I am coming from.
I was hoping that he would use a bit of sense every now and then.
I was hoping that by now we cannot keep doing this.

It’s the little things that he does that I cannot stand.
It’s the little things like constantly licking me in random places and thinking it is okay.
I hate spit… But you keep disrespecting me and lick me anyway.
Plenty of times it is not out of pleasure, only sheer annoyance and irritation.
I hate it when I’m trying to talk to you, but you don’t listen.
I cannot stand that the only source of communication with you isn’t active right now, probably because of an excuse.

It has been a little over two months now.
It is about time that you have your things turned back on by now.
It is about time, or are you going to tell me to not worry about that as well?

There’s so much dislike, and it’s frustrating for me to enjoy any ounce of like with what we do because you won’t hear me.
You won’t listen to what is being said in between the lines.
You won’t understand what is being yelled towards you unless I threaten to leave and never see you again.

The day I stop trying to go away will probably be the day where I will be six feet under, or we come to a mutual understanding.

For now, I am by myself, and I will forever be by myself unless something changes. However, I refuse to change myself, and you stay the same (acting all glorified and bragging to anyone you see “claiming” that you have single handily done that). I refuse that because why should I change, and you stay the same?

Probably I’m over thinking things.
Probably it is no big deal.
But I need to see the proof first.

Continuation of Life

It has been a long time since I have actually sat down and released what was trapped in my mind. So much changed about me, how I carried myself, and who I fell in and out of love with. To add on to my unknown adventures, I have gained a whole lot of new experiences through those that’ve hurt me emotionally, mentally, or verbally. One thing I will say I refuse to let those memories haunt me, taunting me to go left, or finding myself revert back into an unfulfilling routine.

My advice:

Stay true to yourself. You know what you love, so go after it. There will come a time where you feel like nothing’s going your way, or it is taking FOREVER to reach a goal. Trust me, it is totally normal because I can be a tad bit impatient if I fail to see any sort of life through my progress.

One thing that helps me, which may help you, is to block out distractions. Easy to say, hard to do, challenging to develop. Yet it is not impossible to achieve since, subconsciously, we have selective hearing and process anything that we choose to see and hear. In different cases, the human mind will already come with a strong sense of focus (or what I would like to call it ‘mental toughness’), so the idea of being distracted won’t ever happen.

To wrap everything into one lovely lump of positivity, continue to be you and be happy. There’s no need to be down, or feel defeated, about the kind of journey you’re having. Not everyone will reach the peak of the mountain at the same time, but eventually, once you get to the top and look down, the view will most likely be the same… Unless you have hair in your face, then your view will be quite hairy!

Caring For Children With Down Syndrome

Andrea and Keston are both surrogate parents to Delaney, their two-year-old toddler that was discovered to have Down Syndrome as early as 12 weeks during an ultrasound in Andrea’s womb. Andrea agreed to be a surrogate mother for her two friends, another lesbian couple that was having trouble getting pregnant for six years, but when the lesbian couple heard the shocking news about Delaney they suggested Andrea to terminate the pregnancy.

Making a life changing decision, Andrea decided to go through the pregnancy, with the total support with Keeston and their family. The link below is the full story of Andrea and Keston journey with Delaney. Below the story are several links on children with Down Syndrome, and how to care and raise them as normal, loving children. I own no rights to the story or the links supplied below!

The story of Andrea and her lovely daughter Delaney: Surrogate Mom Who Kept Baby With Down Syndrome

“The first years of life are a critical time in a child’s development. All young children go through the most rapid and developmentally significant changes during this time… Children with Down Syndrome typically face delays in certain areas of development, so early intervention is highly recommended… Because of specific challenges associated with Down Syndrome, babies will likely experience delays in certain areas of development. However they will achieve all of the same milestones as other children at their own pace.” — Therapies & Development: Early Intervention

“As a parent preparing to have a child with Down Syndrome, you are likely adjusting to a reality that you had not envisioned. You will find that parenting a child with Down Syndrome can be as joyous, rewarding — and of course challenging — as parenting any child. Down Syndrome is a chromosomal condition that leads to a combination of birth abnormalities (normally occurs when a fertilized egg has an extra chromosome)…” — Parenting a Child With Down Syndrome

“Including children with special needs into the mainstream classroom can be a healthy experience for all students in the class, though it may require extra attention from the teacher! Teaching students with disabilities requires a lot of creative thinking among other things. Using Turning Point in the classroom can benefit both you and your students. Shy students and students with disabilities that are fearful of answering use clickers, which allows them to answer the question without the fear of being ridiculed for incorrect answers and it encourages them to participate more…” — Using Turning Point Student Response Systems for Students with Disabilities


Calling Out To You

Calling Out To You

I written this out of love for someone, whom I wish wasn’t so far away. Even though he is very far, I still feel some connection between us both. The outside world may never understand this yearning passion I have for him, but I would still try to be there for him, just like he was there for me.

When loving someone express it in your own way. Don’t feel ashamed for doing so because you’re opening up your heart, mind, and soul, releasing a totally different side of you that even YOU never knew that existed. Stay truthful and don’t build a wall.