Voicing What You See

I was hoping today would be easy for me.
I was hoping that he would hear the little things and understand where I am coming from.
I was hoping that he would use a bit of sense every now and then.
I was hoping that by now we cannot keep doing this.

It’s the little things that he does that I cannot stand.
It’s the little things like constantly licking me in random places and thinking it is okay.
I hate spit… But you keep disrespecting me and lick me anyway.
Plenty of times it is not out of pleasure, only sheer annoyance and irritation.
I hate it when I’m trying to talk to you, but you don’t listen.
I cannot stand that the only source of communication with you isn’t active right now, probably because of an excuse.

It has been a little over two months now.
It is about time that you have your things turned back on by now.
It is about time, or are you going to tell me to not worry about that as well?

There’s so much dislike, and it’s frustrating for me to enjoy any ounce of like with what we do because you won’t hear me.
You won’t listen to what is being said in between the lines.
You won’t understand what is being yelled towards you unless I threaten to leave and never see you again.

The day I stop trying to go away will probably be the day where I will be six feet under, or we come to a mutual understanding.

For now, I am by myself, and I will forever be by myself unless something changes. However, I refuse to change myself, and you stay the same (acting all glorified and bragging to anyone you see “claiming” that you have single handily done that). I refuse that because why should I change, and you stay the same?

Probably I’m over thinking things.
Probably it is no big deal.
But I need to see the proof first.

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